Rules of Husband and Wife

Devin Halim Wijaya20 November 2025

5 4 minutes read

Islam views marriage as a holy partnership rather than merely a contract. It is the union of two souls (husband and wife) who pledge to grow together, find harmony in one another and complement one another. Islam sees marriage as a divine cooperation bound by love, mercy and responsibility rather than as a power struggle between two opposing sides. According to Allah ﷻ:

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً
“And among His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.” (Surah Ar-Rum 30:21)

This verse serves as a reminder that harmony is the essence of marriage. It’s about creating a home for the soul not just a place to live. Additionally both the husband and the wife in that household have duties that when carried out sincerely for Allah ﷻ will turn the home into a place of barakah (blessing).

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Husband as a Nurturing Leader

Islam views the husband as the familys leader, protector and caregiver or what is known in arabic as qawwam (قوام). Here, the leadership entails accountability, empathy and service. In addition to making a living for the family, a husband is responsible for the familys moral, spiritual and emotional well-being. As stated by Allah ﷻ:

الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنفَقُوا مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given one more strength than the other and because they support them from their wealth.” (Surah An-Nisa 4:34)

In Islam being a good leader entails being kind, just and merciful. A good husband does more than just give orders to his family. He also listens to his familys needs. He never suffocates his family but he does protect them. His strength is represented in emotional stability and calming presence which represents a protection to his family. When a man recognizes this, he views his wife as his partner in creating a home that pleases Allah ﷻ and as a companion in faith not as someone beneath him.

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Wife: A Partner in Harmony and Dignity

In Islam, a wife is a partner with equal dignity and a distinct role rather than a subordinate to a husband. She has rights that need to be respected including safety, respect, financial stability and decent treatment. However, these rights come with a sacred obligation: to safeguard the house, raise the family and maintain the environment of love and faith that sustains the family. She adorn and comfort his family just like clothing.

Through her presence, care and wisdom the wife protects her husbands honor and he does the same in his own unique way. It is not necessary for a woman to stifle her potential or aspirations in order to be a good wife. Islam never prohibits women from pursuing education, employment or other endeavors as long as they do so within the parameters of modesty and family harmony. Her value is determined by how truly she fulfills the roles that Allah ﷻ has given her not by how noticeable she is to the outside world.

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The Balance of Two Roles

In Islamic marriage, conflict must be handled with tolerance, compassion and open communication. Instead of competing for supremacy, the husband and wife are teammates pursuing the same objectives: barakah and peace. Competition becomes cooperation when the husband carries out his responsibilities with care and the wife carries out hers with sincerity.

Marriage turns into an act of worship, a never-ending cycle of giving forgiving and developing, if husband and wife care about and support each other. It is not about who is winning the argument but rather who is serving more sincerely in a true Islamic home. When the husbands leadership is motivated by kindness it takes on significance and when a wife obeys out of love rather than fear it is valued. Together they represent the Quranic balance of mercy (rahmah) and justice (ʿadl), two forces that transform a house into a sanctuary rather than merely a building.

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In Conclusion

Islam views a husband and wifes role as one of harmony rather than hierarchy. It’s about accountability not power and devotion is more important than dominance. A home shows Allah ﷻ’s blessing when the husband leads with gentleness and the wife brings calm and warmth to the family. It turns into a tiny paradise on earth and a site of serenity, development and faith. Islam views marriage as the journey of two imperfect souls working toward Allah ﷻ together rather than the union of two perfect people because true marital success is found in the quiet times when love transforms into patience, and patience transforms into worship rather than in luxury or prestige.

Hopefully we all can create a blessing marriage, where a home that feels peaceful, warm, and comfort for both husband and wife.

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Wallāhu a‘lam.
Barakallāhu fīkum.

Writer: Devin Halim Wijaya, B.B.A, M.Sc
Independent Sharia Consultant

Instagram: @devinhalimwijaya

Linkedin: @devinhalim